Oktoberfest a la al-Qaeda

Just in case you live behind the moon or just maybe in the US of A where information is passed around in a brown paper bag, this coming Sunday, Germany will come down with a major case of the elections. While there's not a lot your average citizen can do to escape the madness, some parts of the elections circus are edible and in some cases down right entertaining. Take for instance the recent video threats where a supposed member of al-Queda tells voters to refrain from voting for any political party in support of German involvement in the illegal war in Afghanistan.



But wait a sec, it can't be a war because the German Grundgesetz forbids the participation of any part of the German military in any war. Okay, let's call it a conflict or even better, it's a humanitarian mission. The German Bundeswehr is there to "help" and to "teach". Duh. Kunduz. Isn't it strange how Verteidigungsminister Jung is still in office after Kunduz? Okay, a local investigation came up with a few civilians names, so the 100 or so persons killed near Kunduz weren't all of them "enemy combatants"...but as announced by those who conducted the whitewash investigation, if the Kunduz incident were to be elevated to the point of causing any real debate over a possible withdrawl of troops from Afghanistan, we'd kinda like to put a lid on it for the time being, at least until after the elections. For shit's sake people, can't this wait?

Isn't it strange, the kinda shit that goes down prior to an election? I mean, all kinds of weirdos start coming out of the woodwork after months and even years of silence. In the USA, you can almost set your watch to the appearance of new video messages from Obiwan Ben Laden. It's really amazing. Oh, and the stuff these guys always say in their video messages... like, if you vote for this and that, we (insert favorite fabricated terror threat label here) are going to kill you! So then, anyone with half a brain sees this and goes "oh shit, fucking hell, I ain't gonna let them there terraists tell me what to do!" So they go out and do exactly the opposite of what the alleged terrorist tells them NOT to do. Does that sound strange to you? It does to me. Are people really falling for this crap? Unfortunately, yes.

So what's Oktoberfest have to do with Obiwan Ben Laden and The Lost Arch of the BND/CIA Crusade (secret CIA flights in and around Europe during the past five or more years)? Huh? Well, for one thing, Oktoberfest has always been used as a threat barometer. It's plain and simple, people love beer and if you wanna end up on crutches or worse, just try to stop a thirsty Oktoberfestgast from getting his fill. This is serious business, folks. I've been there. Don't even dream of standing in a thirsty man's way down around the "Wiesn". You could get yourself killed. So when this young feller from Bonn or wherever he comes from says even one word about bombs or stuff like that going off at OUR OKTOBERFEST ....dude's a walkin' deadman. His ass is grass and we have a monopoly on lawnmowers. What did he say in them video clips? He warns Germany, says we should pull out, and then he tells voters not to vote for whom?

We ain't dumb. And we like our beer. So don't fuck with us. Oh, and don't forget to vote for the war party this Sunday. Who's the war party? Well, there's only one party in favor of an immediate troop withdrawl and that's Die Linke. Don't vote for them, no no no no. That's what the terraists want you to do, so don't do it.

And one last thing, forget about the CIA flights and the EU special committee investigation, whatever those people were doing and how Franz Steinmeier and Joschka Fischer had a lot to hide but not a lot to say except, shhhhhhh. Shush up now, willyaz. We got an election to win here.

Herr Ober! Ein Bier bitte.

Und noch einen.

Vielen Dank.