Monday, February 1, 2010

HUMOR HEALS, SO HERE'S SOME HEALING


CLICK IMAGE TWICE TO ENLARGE


 

Here's my joke for the day






Nymphomaniac Convention  A man   boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced   up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat .

As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"   

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "   

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.   

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business   role at this convention?"









 

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my   personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."   

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"   

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are   the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American  Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.   

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually   it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.   

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is   the Southern Redneck."   

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you.    I don't even know your name."   

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."


4 comments:

  1. Patrick, that Obama thing is hysterical. I just printed it out and passed it around the office and everyone laughed out loud at it. They're all taking it home to show family members. Btw, they like the idea of Obama as wall mart greeter;)

    Did you write it? If not, where did it come from?

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  2. Yep, this is a "classic" no doubt! Actually, I could see Obama picking up my garbage every Tuesday morning. I'd get a big Hee Haw out of it when I stick a large coiled spring under the lid (like those ole exploding cans of candy or beans people would hand you), and a Wobbly Bobbly Bush Head would spring out with a flag saying, "Great Job, Obamie!"

    No wait! Obama can pump everybody's Septic Tanks during the day, and then go back to Halliburton Camp with all of Congress for Skull & Bones "Charades" every night.

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  3. I got it by email from one of my many scouts. I had two belly laughs yesterday and these I posted.

    My lack of belly laughs has done serious harm to my well-being. I must remember my 2010 resolutions:

    1. to laugh more often
    2. don't be too serious (remembering what a ridiculous species we are)
    3. to find more enjoyment in the things that are free

    This covered them all.

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  4. Just replace Congress with the Chamber of Commerce- and skip the middlemen.

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